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[personal profile] elysenotelsie
I'm not a huge fan of being ill, but being at home is sort of amazing. There's an incredible license to not worry when I'm confined to quarters and it is addictive. I watch TV and cuddle my dog. I read, and cruise the interwebs in search of anything that tickles my fancy. I actively don't spent money or contribute to my mounting pile of crippling debt. And without anything to add to my worries, I end up creatively problem-solving stuff that I otherwise wouldn't have considered.

Pathetic, right? I mean, illness aside, this is pretty much text-book burnout as evidenced by how quickly my brain is reset in the absence of drudgery to attend to. Christ on a cracker, if every weekend was as rejuvenating as a sick day then I would be a healthier, happier little clam.

I've been thinking a bit recently about futility. It's been bothering me that we- as a species- have agreed that we have to have money in order to survive. I mean, why? No other fucking animal society on the planet decided to burden themselves with this arbitrary, made-up obstacle. Commerce isn't fundamentally required for survival. Resources are, sure. And pooling resources amongst a group improves the chances and quality of survival substantially. But money? Made up, fabricated units of value? That's not necessary at all. Having to work a meaningless job to afford mortgage payments on a house on a plot of land, to have health insurance and begin making plans for retirement; this is a flawed, pointless system. It's the snake that eats its own tail. It is never ending and beholden only unto itself. There is no end game, it just goes on and on. I have values and skills which, while prodigious, are not financially actionable. Nobody will pay me to tell good stories, bake tasty breads, knit a Cthulhu scarf, fix things that break, or think through problems. I'm good at these things, but nobody is going to throw enough money at me to continue surviving for them. No, they give me money to answer a phone for 8 hours a day. Dumb, right? It's dumb. The other stuff that I'm good at is way more valuable than phone-answering, but there's no profit there. It's honestly worth more to somebody to have me sit on my butt and answer a phone. That's crazy, right? I mean, it has to be.

I just can't get away from the notion that this isn't the way we're supposed to live. This makes no sense once you start looking at it. Why don't more people look at it this way? How is this a minority view? If not for fictional money, Tesla would have been our god-king and Edison a footnote. The way it ought to have been. But the financially savvy Edison walked away with the trophy and Tesla died crazy and alone in a hotel room gibbering at pigeons while the length and breadth of his intellectual legacy withered away in his fevered noggin. Dumb, it's just dumb. 
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